To Prove a Boast
by Lady Feylene
Summary: Sirius makes a boast. James calls him on it. Peter suffers the consequences. Slash.
1. Default Chapter

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Disclaimer: Sirius, Peter and James do not belong to me. Nor do any other Harry Potter characters that show up in the story. The whole concept belongs to J K Rowling. Not me. I'm making no money off of this whatsoever.

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Warning: This is **slash**. There was a warning on the summary, but here's another one. Slash, for those of you who don't know what it is, is **two members of the same gender in a romantic or sexual relationship**. In this case, we have two men. Having sex. Now, I've warned you sufficiently. **If you don't like the thought of two men having sex, please don't read this.** If you read it anyway, don't come bitching to me. Or, if you feel you absolutely *have* to tell me what a sick fuck I am, E-mail me. PLEASE! I am sick of stupid people that don't read warnings...** Rated R/NC-17**. It's pretty **graphic.... **

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Dedication: This is for Kitten. I ran it by you, you said go for it. I love the ring, it's beautiful. Happy Valentines Day, dearest.

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Author's Note: I should be writing the next chapter of Beautiful Stranger. I have it planned out. But this just sort of assaulted me. It came to me while I was lying in bed, after watching The Practice. The idea of it came into being. Then it just started writing itself in my head. I can't write anything else until I get this down on paper, so here it is. Oh, and the pairing here is Sirius/Peter. Takes place seventh year. Sort of sad. There's also hints of Remus/Sirius, and Remus/Peter. Hmmm. Remmie gets around...

There will be a follow up, with Sirius' feelings on the whole thing. //indicates thought// *indicates emphasis*

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To Prove A Boast

"I could get anyone in bed, if I wanted to."

Sirius and James were sitting on James' bed, attempting to get some homework done. Attempting was the key word. James just rolled his eyes at Sirius' statement. It wasn't the first time that boast had been made, and James knew it wouldn't be the last. But he highly doubted it.

"I could." Sirius re-stated, seeing James' reaction.

"No, you couldn't." James said, frowning at his Charms essay.

"I could get you in bed." Sirius said, matter-of-factly.

"I know that Sirius. We've been over it. I'd be perfectly happy to sleep with you if I weren't dating Lily. And I am thankful you respect that and don't push. But you couldn't get *anyone* into bed."

"Yes, I could." Sirius was quite adamant. James really didn't want to hear it.

"No. You couldn't. Now stop being such a prat and let's get back to work."

"No." Sirius swept James' book and parchment out of the way. "I could get anyone in this school to sleep with me. And I'll prove it."

"Oh god..." James closed his eyes, wanting to sob.

"What?" Sirius folded his arms.

"Look, you're really good looking. You've got a lot of charm. You've got every strait girl and half the guys in the school drooling over you. But you couldn't get anyone into to bed! There are people out there that *aren't* impressed with looks and charm. You're going to have to deal with that. Why don't you just come to some sort of agreement with Remus and leave it there."

"I'm also a master of seduction." Sirius ran a hand through his thick black hair. James rolled his eyes at the gesture. Sirius had *looked* like he was calming down. James really didn't see how Remus put up with it. 

"I can seduce anyone. And I'll prove it. You name them, I'll get them in bed. And I'm going to have fun while I can. I'm not ready to settle down. So....who'll it be?" Sirius folded his arms again, looking rather defiant.

"I don't want to be a part of this..." James said.

"Yes you do. You challenged me. Now *you* deal with it." Sirius had a look in his eyes that James knew well. There was no way out of this.

"All right...let me think." Well, it was better then doing homework. But who to send Sirius after? Snape? No, that was just cruel. James wanted to see Sirius shot down, not beaten to a bloody pulp or made ill. He couldn't use a teacher, that was far to risky. If he knew of any lesbians, that would be perfect...he wracked his brain, while Sirius smiled winningly. //Big oaf thinks he can win this. I don't think so...aha!// It was perfect! So perfect and simple that James was amazed it had taken him so long to figure it out.

"Anyone, right?" James asked, a gleam in his eyes.

"Yes, anyone." Sirius said, exasperation clear in his voice.

"Okay." James grinned, as winningly and far more devious then Sirius'. "Peter."

***

Sirius frowned. James was an evil genius, that was all there was too it. He had never once thought Peter would be his target. //Peter? I don't even know if Peter *likes* other guys.// As far as he knew, Peter didn't *have* a sexuality. He tended to stay away from the 'whole messy business', as he put it. And now Sirius had to seduce him. Or at least try. He had the sneaking suspicion try was all he'd be able to manage.

//Well, it could have been worse. James could have siced me on Snape. Or Crabbe or Goyle or something....// He shuddered, thinking. At least Peter was cute. He had that shy, teddy bear look to him. Sirius was currently studying him over lunch. //Yeah, it could have been a lot worse.// There were far worse monstrosities then soft brown hair, light green eyes, a round friendly face, and a slightly soft figure. Looks weren't a problem. Disinterest was.

//Peter's just not...he doesn't care about that stuff. Or at least he pretends he doesn't. He *did* ask that Hufflepuff out fourth year. But he hasn't shown any interest in anyone since then. And that was three years ago. I don't think he even knows what sex is!// Sirius briefly entertained the thought of asking Remus...Peter and he were close. But he didn't really feel like sharing his plan with his other friend. It was between himself and James.

//I'll do it tonight. There's really no strategy I could use. I've just got to...try it.// He had a horrible feeling he might actually lose this little bet. And James would never let him live it down. //No. I can get Peter. It might take a whole hell of a lot, but I can do it. Surprise. That's what I have to use. The element of surprise. Yes...// He'd just have to try that and hope. Giving Peter a wide smile, he finished his lunch, feeling a bit more confident.

***

It had been a long day. Peter lay in bed, his ragged old teddy bear tucked firmly under his arm. He hated classes. He knew he wasn't the brightest of students, but he really did try. Potions was the worst, along with Transfiguration. And he had had both in one day. At least he had Remus to help him. He didn't think he'd be able to pass, if it weren't for Remus. But on top of that, Sirius had been acting oddly.

//He kept staring at me. I hope I didn't so something to make him mad...// Making Sirius mad was the last thing Peter wanted to do. As far as Peter was concerned, Sirius was a god on earth. It didn't bother Peter *all* that much the Sirius often didn't pay much attention to him, or made him the butt of some rather unpleasant jokes. Why should he pay any attention to slow, clumsy Peter? And when he did...

//I don't think I did anything to make him mad.// Peter chewed at his lower lip, trying to figure out why Sirius had been so odd around him. He knew it was him, because Sirius had acted the same around Remus and James, flirting and joking and acting completely at ease. He never acted that way around Peter, but he usually wasn't so stand offish either. That didn't bother Peter either, that Sirius treated him differently then he did James and Remus. It only made sense. James was his best friend, and Remus...well, Remus was something different altogether. Peter knew he'd never achieve the same sort of status with Sirius that either of them had. But sometimes he liked to hope...

"Peter?"

The soft whisper startled the young Gryffindor out of his thoughts.

"Sirius?" What did he want? Well, whatever it was, Peter hoped he'd tell him what was wrong.

"You awake?"

"Um....yes." That was a silly question. If Peter hadn't been awake, he wouldn't have answered.

"Can I come over?" 

Well, this was new. Sirius often crawled into to bed with Remus or James, but he rarely ever visited Peter. 

"Sure." Peter rolled over to make more room, and started to sit up. He pulled out his wand, whispering the spell that would let it give off enough light to illuminate the bed.

"Don't bother." Sirius slipped into the bed, pulling the covers up and lying down next to Peter. "Couldn't sleep."

"Me neither." Peter said, lying back down. It was odd, having someone else in bed with him like this. He wasn't used to it, but it wasn't altogether bad. And it was *Sirius*!

"Why not?" Sirius' voice was concerned, and Peter tried to shrug. It was hard, considering he was lying on his side. //I might as well tell him.//

"I...I thought you were mad at me."

"Shit, no." Sirius said, wrapping his arms around Peter in a tight hug. "I'm not mad at you...why'd you think that?"

"Oh. You were just...I don't know. I'm sorry." Peter trailed off, feeling stupid. of course he had mistaken things. That wasn't unusual at all.

"No, I'm sorry, Peter." Sirius squeezed him tightly. "It was probably my fault."

"No..." It couldn't have been Sirius' fault. 

"Well, it doesn't matter now, does it? I'm not mad at you."

"Why couldn't you sleep?" A change of subject seemed the best thing. Peter wasn't entirely sure what to think about the situation. He wasn't quite as innocent as the rest of the marauders liked to think. He knew that Sirius climbed into James' bed when he had nightmares, because they were best friends and that was what best friends did. And he knew that Sirius climbed into Remus' bed for completely different reasons. But why was he in Peter's bed?

"Lonely." Sirius said, his arms still around Peter. In all honesty, the brown haired Gryffindor was getting a little bit nervous.

"Oh." Was all he could really say. //if he's lonely, why is he here? Shouldn't he be with Remmie?//

"If you want to sleep, I can leave..."

"No! That's okay..." Peter hardly ever got any time alone with Sirius, and it was never like this. He didn't really care why Sirius was here, just that he was.

"Good. Cause I didn't really want to leave..." Peter stiffened, feeling Sirius' lips pressed gently to the back of his neck. He didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say. //Why is he doing this?// Peter didn't understand. Sirius had his pick of the students of Hogwarts. He could have anyone he wanted. What was he doing with *him*?

"Um...Sirius?" Peter managed to squeak. Sirius was holding him closely, kissing his neck softly and repeatedly.

"Mmm?"

"What..." Peter took a deep breath. "What are you doing?"

"Kissing you. Want me to stop?" Sirius asked, nuzzling Peter's neck. 

//Well? Do you?// Peter wasn't sure. He was a virgin, in every sense of the word. He'd never even been kissed before. Not a *real* kiss. Oh, there'd been a few games of spin the bottle, and once he and Remus had tried their hands at kissing, way back in third year, simply to see what it was like. But now here he was, with Sirius. And Peter was pretty certain Sirius wouldn't stop at a few kisses.

"I don't know." He answered, honestly.

"Okay." Sirius stopped kissing his neck, and gently turned him around so they were facing each other. Peter could tell he was flushing. How stupid he must seem. Frightened by such simple affection. But it was from Sirius. Peter knew he couldn't deny Sirius anything. And Sirius wanted this from *him*!

"You can....um..." Peter wasn't sure what to say. His face was heated, and he lowered his eyes. He couldn't meet Sirius' intense, dark gaze. Sirius had beautiful eyes. Deep and warm, like chocolate.

"Okay." Sirius said again, and captured Peter's lips in a tender kiss. That was a real kiss. Peter closed his eyes, paying close attention to every all at once. Sirius' lips were warm and moist, and his arms were strong. Peter could feel his heart beating against his chest, and the Sirius' warm breath against his face as he pulled away.

Peter looked down again. //he must have thought that was awful.// It had been far different then those hesitant, fumbling kisses shared with Remus. It had sent bolts of electricity all through Peter, like nothing else. //I wish I was a better kisser...// He started to apologize, to offer verbal pacification for his lack of skill, but Sirius' lips were on him again, more insistent this time. He took Peter's lower lip between his own, tugging gently. There was little doubt in Peter's mind why so many people went so willingly to Sirius' bed.

Peter did his best to return the kiss, but he knew he was gravely inferior. He slipped his own arms around Sirius, holding him closely. He was hard and tight and firm, like rock. Peter knew that he was nothing compared to that. Where Sirius was all hard muscle, he was rather soft. But Sirius didn't seem to mind, as his hands were tracing patterns along Peter's back, and his tongue was caressing Peter's lips. 

//This must be a dream...// But Peter had never even *dared* to dream that this would ever happen. Oh, a small part of his mind had hoped for it, but always silently. He was a dreamer, but he tried to keep his dreams to the sphere of reality. And Sirius coming to him like this, well, that was simply out of the question.

Sirius' tongue was seeking entrance now, and Peter allowed it without a thought. He knew, in that moment, he would let Sirius do whatever he wanted. He would sooner stop breathing then stop Sirius. He let Sirius' tongue play with his own, stroking his palate and delving into every corner of his mouth. He responded eagerly, embarrassed at his own obvious reaction. Sirius chuckled against his lips, hand slipping down to snake up under Peter's pajama top, stroking his bare back. He shuddered, biting his lip to keep quiet as Sirius' lips found his neck, sucking at the soft flesh.

"Sirius..." Peter mumbled the name, as Sirius rolled him gently onto his back, stretching out over him, hands sliding down his sides to grasp his hips. Sirius licked the hollow of his throat, before moving on to his collarbone, trailing his tongue lightly along it. Peter shivered. Sirius' hands were moving elsewhere now, and Peter gasped, clenching his teeth together hard to keep from crying out. 

"You okay?" Sirius asked, looking up. Peter only nodded, wishing the hand would do something other then just hold him.

"Let me know if you're not, right?"

"Uh-huh..." Peter pressed his head back into the pillow. Sirius had removed his hand, but not for long. Peter closed his eyes, feeling the cool air on his legs as Sirius slid off his pajama bottoms, brushing fingers over hot, tortured flesh as he did so. He nuzzled Peter's neck, his breath warm and moist on his skin.

"Want you..." He mumbled, and Peter's heart soared in his chest. To hear those words...from *Sirius*! He clutched at the black haired Gryffindor's shoulders, a smile curling up his lips. 

"K..." He said, holding his friend turned lover close, and Sirius stroked him, his hand causing the most amazing sensations Peter had ever felt. He arched his hips, whimpering softly.

"You sure?" Sirius asked, kissing Peter gently on the lips.

"Yeah. I am." He was more sure of this then anything in the world. He smiled at Sirius, feeling suddenly very small and shy. He couldn't meet Sirius' eyes. He looked away, turning his head so his cheek pressed against the pillow. He was still half wondering if this wasn't some sort of dream. A hallucination, a fancy...but Sirius was now using his mouth, and Peter was finding it hard to wonder about anything, other then whether or not it was actually possible for anyone's tongue to be *that* agile.

Peter did not last long. He felt inadequate, finding his peak after so short a time. And he didn't even have time to give warning. But Sirius hadn't seemed to mind. He'd smiled, and assured Peter it was fine, not to worry. And then he laid out across Peter, and kissed his neck, and held him close, and Peter felt a tremor of fear. //You can trust Sirius.// He knew he could. He was safe, here in Sirius' arms. There was such tenderness there, such....love. It awed and overjoyed Peter. He tried not to flinch when Sirius fingers penetrated him, moist and gently, but still painful. He knew in a vague sort of way it was going to hurt. But he loved Sirius with all of his heart. It was a certainty he had always had. He had never considered it a *physical* love. It was the same love he held for the sunrise, or the air he breathed. It was something that sustained him, that was always there. But now...

"Okay?" It seemed to be Sirius' word of the night. Peter just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He as a mess of joy and confusion and trust. He knew he could trust Sirius, but s very small part of him still wondered at this sudden turn of events. What had pushed Sirius to his bed? He had recently curbed his liaisons, seeming to prefer Remus to his various lovers. But now...now he was about to complete this impromptu joining, and Peter pushed all worries out of his mind. This was surely different then Sirius' casual flings. There wouldn't be such gentleness, such kindness, such feeling in a simple one night stand. He bit his lip, to keep from crying out as the pain shot through him, dull and sudden. And Sirius paused, urging him to relax, to calm down, not to stiffen like that. And Peter listened, forcing his breathing to slow, forcing his muscles to listen and un-tighten, and Sirius moved inside of him, pausing when he was in completely, and the pain was dulling already. 

//So...this is what it feels like.// An odd thought to have, but it was the only coherent one in Peter's mind at the moment. He felt...full. It still hurt some, but it was the sort of hurt that was all right. He held onto Sirius' shoulders, fingers curling and digging into hard muscle on their own accord, in response to that throbbing inside of him. The waiting was killing him. Why wasn't Sirius doing anything? Peter moved his hips some, wincing at the stab of pain that shot through him. Sirius took the hint, moving inside of him, taking him with slow easy strokes.

//This is what it is to make love.// Peter closed his eyes, biting his lower lip to keep from crying out, first in pain and then in pleasure. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before. How could he have ever thought Sirius thought little of him, or disliked him in any way, when it was so obvious the opposite was so true. And then it was over, over almost as soon as it began, but it had lasted so long...

Sirius collapsed on top of Peter, the smaller Gryffindor grunting slightly as Sirius slipped out with a practiced ease. He felt strong fingers brushing his sweat dampened hair back from his forehead, and soothing his flushed skin.

"You all right?" Sirius asked, rolling off to prop himself up on his shoulder to look down at Peter.

"Mmm-hmm." Peter felt as though he were glowing. He decided it was the most perfect moment of his life, lying curled up to Sirius' chest, the warmth of what they had done still spreading through him. He rolled over, tucking himself tightly against Sirius. He didn't know what to say, even though a million things were running through his brain. 

"Good." Sirius kissed the top of his head, and shifted, pulling his sweatpants back on. Peter did the same, wincing slightly as he moved. "Yeah...uh, you'll be a little sore for a day or so. But not too bad."

"It's okay." Peter waved it away. For Sirius, he could be strong and ignore it. 

"Okay then." Sirius kissed him again, lingering and sweet, and then he sat up, raking his hair out of his eyes. He wasn't looking at Peter, he was looking at the floor. It was then that Peter realized that something wasn't right, but he couldn't put his finger on it. //No. Nothing's the matter. There was nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with making love. and there's certainly nothing wrong with making love to someone you actually do love.// Sirius ran his hand through his hair again, in an almost nervous gesture. And there was funny hitch to his voice. "You get some sleep, okay?"

"Um....okay..." Peter frowned, eyes trying to seek out Sirius' in the dim light given off by his wand. But Sirius wasn't looking at him. He was still looking at the ground. //Why won't he look at me? Did I do something wrong?// Panic set in. Sirius was standing up, his back to the slightly dazed Gryffindor, and returning to his own bed...leaving Peter very alone, and very confused.

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	2. Revelations

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Disclaimer: Sirius, Peter, Remus, James and anyone else from the HP series who shows up in this fic don't belong to me. I am just borrowing them.

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Warning: This is heavily loaded with **slash**. Sirius/Peter, Sirius/Remus. Sirius/Other. Nothing actually happens, it's all implied and talked about.

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Dedication: For all of you who braved the first part. :-) I actually didn't think this would get as many reviews as it did. People are generally scared away by any Peter slash....

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Author's note: I'm mildly afraid. Someone referred to the first part of this story as a little bit of fluff. Fluff? I hardly find the themes of coldhearted seduction, manipulation, emotional abuse, and taking one's friend's virginity only to prove a boast fluffy. Nor do I find it amusing, as said person did. I sometimes wonder if people actually *read* things, or simply go strait to the smut and read that. Anyway, I'm done with my ranting...

Ah well. Here we had a whole lot more of emotional torment. Remus isn't happy, James isn't happy, Peter is confused and Sirius is guilty. See! See! He has a conscience! He really does. I've noticed when I get very upset, I take my feelings out on characters I *like* the most. I put them through hell. I'm not sure why I do that. 

The very first part is in omniscient third person. This story changes perspective *a lot*. You have been warned....Oh, and see if you can find the foreshadowing. ;-)

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Revelations

Breakfast the next morning was an awkward affair indeed. James was not happy at being proven wrong, Remus was not happy that Sirius had slept with Peter, and Sirius was feeling the affects of what he had done. The tension and cold stares left Peter feeling confused. He wasn't entirely sure what was going on. Or why Remus and James were glaring at him like that. Or why Sirius was avoiding him...

"I've got Quidditch practice today." James said suddenly, pushing back from the table. He didn't look at Sirius. He hadn't thought the other boy would actually go through with it, and was feeling the sting of being wrong.

"I have to study." Remus snapped. He had *thought* he and Sirius had come to some sort of an understanding. But he had obviously been wrong. He was well aware of what had gone on last night. His bed was next to Peter's, and he an amazing sense of smell and hearing. It had *not* been a pleasant night.

"I...um...I have to go." Sirius mumbled. He didn't know what to do, but he knew he had made a big mess of things. Remus was angry at him, and that was understandable. James was angry too, and Sirius understood that. He wasn't happy about it, but he understood it. And Peter...well, Sirius couldn't bring himself to even look at the younger Gryffindor.

Peter didn't know what to say. He suddenly found himself alone at the table, staring about him in confusion. He knew there was something wrong, and even though he wasn't the brightest of bulbs, he was pretty certain it had something to do with what had happened between him and Sirius the night before. He'd have to talk to him about it...

***

"Remus, can I talk to you?" Sirius' tone was pleading, but the werewolf would have none of it.

"I'm busy." The sandy haired Gryffindor said, burying his nose in his book. He didn't want to hear any of Sirius' excuses. He had heard them all before, and he was sick of it. 

"We really need to talk..."

"There's nothing to talk about." Remus said simply. "It was my mistake for thinking you'd changed."

"Remmie..."

"You don't need to make up some sort of stupid excuse to try and make me feel better. This isn't the first time this has happened, and it won't be the last." Remus re-read the same sentence for the fifth time. Why wouldn't Sirius just leave him alone? He didn't want to be near the black haired Gryffindor. He wanted to lose himself in his book and forget what he had heard last night.

"I'm not going to." Sirius said, plucking the book out of Remus' hands. "I'm going to explain what last night was about."

"I am well aware of what last night was about." Remus snapped, rather coldly. "I was in the next bed, Sirius."

"It....it wasn't like that." Sirius said, and Remus cocked his head. Sirius sounded genuinely upset about it. Not like the countless times before. There was regret and guilt in his voice and his stance, even in his scent.

"Then what was it?" Remus asked, folding his hands in his lap. Sirius ran his hand through his hair, raking it out of his eyes. He took a deep breath, kneeling on the floor of the common room before Remus' chair.

"James....James and I made a sort of bet." Sirius began, and Remus gritted his teeth. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like what he heard.

"A bet?" He repeated, voice emotionless.

"Yeah. I was bragging. That I could get anyone in bed. He said I couldn't. I told him I'd prove it..."

"So you seduced Peter." Remus finished, coldly. "You used him to assuage your ego."

"Look, it wasn't like that!" Sirius snapped. "It was...I just...I didn't seduce him."

"Oh? What was it then? Rape?" Remus couldn't believe it. He had known that Sirius often didn't stop to think about other people's feelings, but this? What had happened with Snape in the Shrieking Shack had been bad enough. But it had been Snape, and no one had gotten hurt. 

"No!" Sirius' eyes flashed. "It wasn't like that *at all*." 

"Mmm." Remus' lips were compressed into a thin line, and his amber eyes were cold and distant. 

"You think I'm lying?" Sirius asked, incredulously.

"I don't know what to think, Sirius." Remus said through clenched teeth. "You screw around on me, you use people, and you'll say anything to save your own arse."

"Damn it, Remus....you're blowing this way out of proportion!"

"Am I?" Remus rose swiftly, his sudden movement causing Sirius to fall backwards. "I don't think so."

"Yes, you are. You're changing the subject, you're twisting my words...you always get like this around that time of the month. I should've known talking to you would be pointless!" The taller boy stood, fists clenched. Remus felt his anger rising up inside of him.

"Of course." He said coldly. "Blame it on my cycle. That's always your excuse when I get angry with you. It's never your fault, even when you're in the wrong. I'm sick of this Sirius." He lifted his chin, shoulders thrust back. His stance was rigid, and he could feel himself trembling. He was angry and betrayed and couldn't even begin to put his complex emotions into words. 

"Remmie, please..." Sirius reached out his hand, and Remus drew back, eyes flashing dangerously.

"Don't touch me." He hissed. Sirius' eyes clouded and he blinked, hand falling away limply. "I won't stand for this anymore. I am tired of being your fallback plan."

"You know you're not..."

"Oh, really?" Remus arched an eyebrow and laughed bitterly. "You could have fooled me." He wanted to cry. He had loved Sirius for nearly a year, but it had always been the same. Sirius did as he pleased. He would cuddle Remus and hold his hand by day, carrying his books between classes. But at night he would hop from bed to bed, changing lovers as often as he changed his clothes.

"You're doing it again." Sirius said, tone grumpy. He crossed his arms, glowering out from under lowered lids. He was pouting, long soot colored lashes obscuring his dark brown eyes, full lower lip jutting out just slightly. If he couldn't get his way by yelling and screaming, he'd pout.

"Giving me puppy dog eyes and making your lower lip quiver like a wounded kitten isn't going to work with me this time, Sirius." Remus resolved himself to be strong. He crossed his own arms, still tense and rigid. He knew he was looking down his nose at Sirius, but he didn't care. He had allowed himself to be walked upon too long. If Sirius wanted to stay with hi, there would have to be changes.

"And you being a cold hearted bastard isn't going to do anything to me, either." Sirius snapped, still sullen.

"Fine." Remus shrugged. He would act aloof, and distant. *He* was in control here. "But I meant what I said. I'm sick of this. I'm not going to stand for it anymore."

"What...what do you mean?" A tremor in his voice. So, Remus was getting to him after all.

"I'm not one of your devoted fans, Sirius." Remus' tone smoothed out, slick and in command. "I don't fall so easily for pretty words and a flashy smile. I don't want sweet nothings and wild nights. I want *you*. But that's not something you're willing to give, and I'm not going to take anything less."

"But...you just said..." Sirius was confused, and it sounded as though he was afraid.

"Exactly Sirius." Remus said, his lips curling in a small devious grin. "It's all or nothing. If you're not going to give me all, then nothing it is."

"Remmie..." Plaintive panic, confusion. Sirius' eyes were no longer hooded in a seductive pout. They were wild and panicked, wide open and imploring Remus.

"No. We're through Sirius." There. He had said it. There was no taking it back. 

"Wha...? Remmie..." Sirius stepped back as though he had been struck. Remus had a moments weakness where he wanted to take it all back, fling his arms around Sirius and apologize, kiss his face and forget anything had happened. But it passed, and Remus clenched his teeth, wrapping an iron fist around his resolve.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, but this is the way it is. You've left me no choice."

"Don't...no." Sirius shook his head, a bit of the angry fire back in his voice. "This isn't my fault."

"Of course not." Spoken airily, flick of a wrist for emphasis. "It never is." He didn't want to be in the same room with Sirius anymore. "I have studying to do. If you'll excuse me..."

"No! This isn't over..." Sirius reached out, and Remus took a step back. The werewolf didn't know how far it would have progressed, but the portrait hole swung open and James stepped into the common room. He froze, seeing the looks on both Sirius and Remus' faces, and sensing the tension in the air. Sirius took a step away from Remus, running a hand through his hair.

"James...we have to talk."

***

"Look, you proved yourself. No need to rub it in my face." James snapped, shrugging out of his Quidditch robes.

"I'm not here to rub it in your face." Sirius said. He was still heated from his argument with Remus. He still hadn't wrapped his mind around that. Remus couldn't have meant that, he couldn't have. Sirius really did love the werewolf. And once school was over, he was quite willing to settle down. He had even cut down on his flings, to pacify Remus. But apparently it wasn't enough.

"Then what do you want?" James asked, titling his head and glaring at Sirius.

"I think...I shouldn't have done it." That was what was really bothering Sirius. If it hadn't been for that, the fight with Remus probably would have gone much differently. 

"Why not?" James asked. He shook his head, trying to get his hair out of his face.

"I just...I think I really messed with Peter's head." Sirius admitted. //That's an understatement.// He hadn't expected it to go like that. There had been such trust and adoration in Peter's eyes...

"Really? He seemed fine at breakfast..." James shrugged.

"Fine?" Sirius was appalled. "Did you *look* at him? He hardly ate..."

"Sorry." James made a dismissive gesture. "I wasn't paying that much attention."

"I was." Sirius said gravely. He felt awful. He knew in his soul he had done something very wrong, but he wasn't sure exactly what. "And...you don't know how he was last night. You weren't there. You didn't see him..."

"No, I didn't, thankfully." James rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious!" The taller Gryffindor sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face. "He was...it wasn't like it usually is."

"What do you mean?" The slim Quidditch player sat on the edge of his bed.

"It just..." Sirius didn't know how to put it into words. Peter hadn't been like his other lovers. Except for Remmie. There had been that same sort of tenderness, but mixed with an unquestioning trust that had frightened Sirius. Peter had never once made a protest. And he had been a virgin, and *very* inexperienced. Sirius couldn't shake the wide clear innocence that had infused Peter's eyes. "I can't explain it."

"I think you're over reacting." James said, rationally. "You feel bad because you got into a fight with Remus. I'm going to assume you were fighting about you sleeping with Peter?" Sirius nodded, and James continued. "Now you're trying to make yourself feel better, or something. Or to put the blame anywhere else."

"Maybe..." But Sirius wasn't convinced. Because these feelings of guilt had began as soon as the love making was over. He couldn't even stay with Peter the night. It would have been...wrong, somehow. He felt like he had used his friend, and as though he had taken something beautiful and spoiled it. He couldn't understand why. And he wanted to apologize, but he couldn't. Not without telling Peter what had really happened, and he could never do that. It would break the boy...

***

"Remus is pissed you were with Peter, right?"

Peter paused outside the door of the boys dorm. It was partially open, and he could hear raised voices within. The common room had been empty, and he had assumed the dorm would be as well. Remus was in the library looking rather upset, James had practice, and Sirius...well, Peter didn't know where the other marauder was. But it seemed James and Sirius were in the dorm.

"Of course he's pissed." That was Sirius, and he sounded exasperated. Peter swallowed hard, pressing himself against the wall to hear what they were saying. He knew eavesdropping was wrong, but if Remus was mad, that meant he was mad at Sirius. And Peter didn't want Sirius to get hurt because of him. 

"Well, did you tell him why you did it?" James asked. Peter scrunched up his face in confusion. Wouldn't that make it worse? Remus probably wouldn't want to hear that Sirius cared about him.

"That didn't help." Well, of course it didn't, Peter thought. He chewed at his bottom lip, books hugged close to his chest. "He thinks less of me now. Acted disgusted with me."

"Why?

Peter wanted to know the same thing. He knew he was no prize, but to be disgusted...well, maybe he could understand it. It probably would have been different, had Sirius slept with someone like James, or Lucius Malfoy. 

"Why do you think? I screwed my best friend just to prove a boast."

Peter's heart stopped dead in his chest before leaping up to lodge in his throat. He felt as though he had been punched very hard in the stomach. He couldn't have heard right. Sirius couldn't have just said that...

"Well, I mean..." That was James. Peter pressed himself further against the wall, to keep himself upright. His legs weren't working right anymore, and they threatened to give out underneath him. "You told him it didn't mean anything, right?"

//It did mean something!// Peter screamed in his mind. He could feel teas or shame, hot and wet, trailing down his cheeks. He didn't sob, he could hardly breathe. He felt cheap, dirty, used. 

"Of course I told him it didn't mean anything to me."

Again, that sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was like a ball of lead, weighty and hard. There was one in his throat too, and around his heart. His mind was numb, cold.

"And it didn't, right?" Suspicion in James' voice. A flare of hope blossomed in Peter's heart. //Of course Sirius would say that...//

"It didn't. It meant nothing to me. Well, it meant *something*, but nothing good. And not like that."

//No...// Peter's knees were like water. He sucked in a quiet breath, body trembling. //No!// 

"Well, there's nothing to do about it now. You and Remmie will make up. It's getting close to that time of the month."

"This is your fault you know. If you hadn't dared me to do it..."

"Don't try and blame this on me. You told me name anyone, and I did. It's not my fault you seduced Peter, I just suggested it."

Peter couldn't move. He couldn't speak. Why had they done this to him? Did they really hate him so much, that they would do such a horrible thing to him? Didn't they know how much he loved Sirius? Why hadn't Sirius told him what it was? Peter would have been happy to comply...but he had used trickery. He had lied, and made Peter think things that weren't true. Why?

"Look, let's just forget it." Sirius. There was silence for a little while, and Peter took the time to collect himself. He gathered his strength and courage around him, what little he had, and found his legs again. He had stopped crying. He took his books tightly in his arms, squeezing them to his chest, and backed away a bit. He planned out in his mind everything he would say to them, a great grand confrontation. He would tell James Potter and Sirius Black *exactly* what he thought of them. He set his jaw, and pushed into the room.

***

"Peter." James leapt away from Sirius, not able to keep a guilty expression off of his face. //Wonderful, make him suspicious.// He ran a hand through his messy black hair, swallowing hard. He couldn't believe Sirius had tried to blame everything on him. *He* hadn't known Sirius would actually go and do it. That was the whole point. That was how he was going to prove Sirius wrong. 

//It's his fault for actually doing it.// There was no argument. Sirius never wanted to take responsibility for his actions. He tried to push the blame on to everyone else. That was how it had always been, and probably always would be. Sirius never wanted to be the one responsible. 

"Peter." Sirius echoed, looking as though he wanted to faint. His face was drawn, and there was a flash of fear in his eyes. James had a sudden sense of panic. What if Peter had heard them? What if he knew? Would he be pissed...? James licked his lips nervously, as Peter opened his mouth to speak.

***

"Hey guys." All of Peter's resolve failed him. He couldn't say anything. He could feel the tears behind his eyes, hot and stinging. But he wouldn't let them fall, not in front of *them.* He could be just as strong and brave. He could tell by their expressions it would do no good to say anything. They'd deny it, make something up to make him feel better. They'd lie to him.

"Hey Peter..." Nervous. They were both nervous. Somehow, that made Peter feel better. //They don't know if I heard them or not. Well, *I'm* not going to tell them.// He would let them wonder. He would never tell them, he couldn't bring himself to. He knew he'd cry, if he did. And he made a vow, then and there, never to cry in front of either of them.

"I just needed to drop of my books." He smiled, hoping it was genuine. Or at least *looked* genuine. He could feel it faltering, a little. Wavering. Like his heart.

"Oh." Sirius, hands shoved in his pockets. Peter turned to him, heart fluttering in his chest like a caged bird.

"Remus looks pretty mad. You might want to go talk to him." Voice calm. Peter was amazed at how calm he sounded. How was he doing this? A part of him was detached, watching him in awe and horror. 

"Uh...yeah. We got into a fight." 

"I thought so." Peter nodded. "He never stays mad long." Bright smile, silly innocent, clueless Peter.

"No...." The utter confusion on Sirius' face was priceless. Never had Peter been the cause of such a look of distress. They didn't know! He was able to fool them...

"I ought to finish my Charms essay." Still smiling. It was the smile that disturbed them the most, Peter thought. //Just...pretend it didn't happen. Let them wonder. Let them be confused. Let the fell what it's like to be me for a change.// Peter was almost always left confused by the others. Now he was the causing confusion. It gave him a small thrill.

"Yeah..." James nodded, licking his lips.

"Hey, Peter...?" Sirius' eyes were dark and looked genuinely concerned. //He's a very good actor.// That had been proven the night before.

"Yes?" He brushed his hair out of his face, smile still plastered on his face.

"Are you...okay?"

"Fine." //As if *you* care.// But Peter found it hard to be angry with Sirius. A part of him still loved him. But most of him recoiled at the bitter betrayal. Sirius may as well have taken a blade to his back. He gathered up the books he needed. "I'm going to finish outside. It's a nice day." He didn't give them any chance to reply. He hurried out, biting at his lower lip. He wouldn't let them see him cry!

//I'll let them wonder for a while. Then...well, someday I'll get them back. Both of them, since both of them did it. I'll find a way...// It was a cold comfort, but all he had. And it was better then nothing.

~~~~~~~

Poor Peter. I don't think there's going to be anymore. Let me know what you thought!


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